Somewhere Over the Rainbow

"It is understood that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of any storm. When a rainbow appears, it does not mean that the storm never happened or that we are not still dealing with its aftermath. It means that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover, but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy, and hope"

So our story of trying to conceive is still being written. Our three month "break" was actually helpful and pleasant. I was initially very upset that we were forced to wait another 3+ months before our dream of becoming parents could finally come true. However, I'm glad it happened. That allowed us both to enjoy our marriage again without the added stress and worry/heartbreak each month. I was able to get back into shape at the gym, and we filled our time with fun events and simply enjoyed our time together. Jason and I have such a fun life. We are now ready to share this life, and we are hoping this happens very soon.

We have been trying to conceive again for the past three months, but we haven't had any luck. The end of December will be two years since I stopped taking birth control and started hoping for our family to grow. We didn't "actively" start trying right away, but we started planning for it. Two years is a lot of time to hope and dream. I am so ready for this dream to come true and for my rainbow to come smiling through. Every negative pregnancy test takes me back a couple of steps -just when I start to feel like I am moving forward.

So, we've decided to actively take another step forward. I have a doctor's appointment scheduled for next Wednesday. They will do an ultrasound that day to measure my follicles (I will still take Clomid 100mg on cycle days 3-7). They will be able to predict what day I will ovulate, based on the ultrasound, and we will go back that day for IUI (Intrauterine Insemination). They will teach me how to give myself an HCG injection to trigger ovulation, so I'll do that a day or two before the scheduled IUI. Hopefully, this will increase our chances for a successful pregnancy. Insurance does not cover this procedure, but you cannot put a price on a blessing.

Just a side note: I would have been 30 weeks pregnant today, but God had other plans for our first baby. Everything happens for a reason, and someday I will see it more clearly.

We won't fail unless we quit trying, which is not an option. Roopers are not quitters. It's not like we are running out of time. Time will pass regardless of how long we have to wait. Infertility is, however, a struggle. It is draining and consuming. I will just keep hoping and praying to overcome it.

My anchor holds in spite of the storm.

I will have my RAINBOW....