Speaking of "Possibilities"...

My life is changing rather quickly.  To be quite honest, I can't keep up with the speed with everything happening so fast.  I keep looking back (yes, already) wondering where did the time go, and how did I get here?  It is overwhelming to think that my life went from this point to that point in a blink of an eye, almost to where I want to hold my eyelids open to keep from missing even the smallest moment in time.  On the other hand, part of me wants to close my eyes for a while, just to see where life takes me.

 

The unknown is scary.  It is what most people, including myself, fear in life.  We are afraid of not knowing what is going to happen -and when.  Then, when something does happen...we are stuck in the "why?" or "what if?" stage where the unknown becomes more powerful, creates guilt or regret, consequently contributing to the circle of fear.  

 

Right now, I am sitting in that circle.  In fact, I feel like I am running around it at times, sort of like swimming in the opposite direction of a whirl pool at full speed.  Life is changing drastically, and it’s quite overwhelming to think about.  I know that I am moving to Florida and starting my first job.  I know that I have a nice place to live and a great support system back at home.  However, I do not know who my friends will be, if any, or if I will even like my job.  At this point, I don’t even know what school I will be working in or any of the people I will be working with.  I made the decision to move to a place where my best friend would be moving at the same time, and now….well, I’m not even certain that she will be moving there with me.  I took a leap without any promises -except from God.  I’m not going to lie…I am scared out of my mind.  I’m sure that I will make new friends and enjoy the weather and fun things to do down there.  I can almost guarantee that I will love my job (I am truly passionate about everything I do in my field of work –to the extent where I sometimes feel that I don’t even deserve to be that happy), but I wonder if I will feel this same way when I am working as I did throughout school.  It can be quite terrifying!  I am not at all reluctant to begin this new life…it’s just the uncertainty that’s got me thinking.   This is a whole new world for me.  I don’t know what to expect.  I just have to keep an open mind and keep reminding myself that the unknown is not always bad.  God has given me this opportunity.  I have earned it.  I have taken it.  I will live it.  I hope I will love it.  

 

I like to think that if I had my life planned out for me (well, it IS planned out for me, but I just don't know what that plan consists of at this point) it would be rather boring.  In addition to fear, there is excitement and bliss in the unknown.  Not knowing what is to come allows me to explore the many possibilities that my future may hold.  My options are wide open, and I like it that way.  I just have to put my complete faith in Jesus Christ and know that he will lead me where I am supposed to go.  I just hope I don’t lose sight of what’s important in life so that I will continue to follow in the right direction, with or without light.  

Anything is possible! :)